Repeat No Repeat

Just as I was about to feel that he has finally learnt how to do it the little guy asks me, again, "What to do now? I forgot!" Nishi, the little guy, is 4 years old and I am his best friend. He's my neighbour, and sometimes I feel that my family loves him more than me! The amount of attention he gets, the way my mom takes special care of making sure he gets some delicious cookies, my dad takes him on a ride - all these make me jealous and I wonder if the same was done for me. Maybe, I don't know, I was too small to figure it out. Anyways, that's not the point here.

Nishi's mom got him a remote controlled car with a set of tracks. As in case with any of his toys, he brought it for me to see. This one was cool, very interesting. Without wasting any time, we started playing with it. The tracks had to be made up from all the pieces given so the car could be rolled over it. It was simple, I made it up for him the 1st time. The 2nd time, I showed him how to do it. Almost every other day this guy comes back and says, "What to do now? I forgot!" I looked into the cute eyes of this dumb kid and showed him how to do it. However, once when this happened again, I snapped at him! I don't know why. I was like, "Why doesn't this guy understand?" That kid just froze for some time and went home soon, as his mom was yelling out for him.

I never realized how much frustration had built up in my mind regarding this thing. I felt sorry for the lil' guy and I thought I would make up with him by getting some chocolates. No one was home, so I made some tea. While having it, I was pondering over the incident, trying to realize what happened. Somehow, I was relating it to a lot of things which had happened in my life, some of them which are happening even now.

There are times when you do a mistake, that's fine. We are always told to learn from our mistakes, and particularly, not to repeat those. Doesn't it happen that we do repeat some, if not all, of our mistakes? Honestly, it does, in my case. I've done a lot of mistakes, some big, many small. I haven't always learnt from them and have repeated some of them more than once. It is important to accept a mistake. However, it is far more important to learn from it and even more to realize never to repeat it. It doesn't happen though, thats a different story. After digging deeper into this I realized the reason for it - a conscious effort had always been missing. More often, the arrogance gets over us when we accept our mistakes. Something like, "OK dude, I accept it. It's my mistake, I am Sorry!" We do one part of the whole thing, and forget the other, more important one!

Just once, think about this with a different view. The person being affected in this case must be so frustrated with you. He/She expects you to learn from it and there you go again. A worst case scenario would be that the person would be so frustrated that he/she would loose all hope. When this happens, you have pushed away someone so far from you that it is highly impossible to get him/her back.

The tea is too strong, just the way I like it. Am I over reacting, over thinking? Maybe. I am thinking too wierd, too extreme. Maybe not! You need to be humble to accept your mistake, and particular enough to remember it, always! It does need a conscious effort and I feel, now, that it's worth it.

Later that evening, I went to Nishi's house, called him home with that car and track. He came, and was so happy to see the chocolates waiting for him. He munched up all of them, and it was fun to watch him do that. Again, I showed him how to make up the track. This time, I was observing, he was vigilant than ever. We kept on playing till the time my mom came back from office.

I fondly remember, a few days later, Nishi coming to meet me. He had the pieces of tracks with him. This time, he built it over, all by himself! :)

Impact of the unexpected

It has been a long time (about 3-4 months) since I've read a book. Finally, thanks to my sis, I am reading a book 'The Black Swan' written by Nassim Taleb. It talks about the impact of highly improbable events that happen in our lives. The whole idea is very interesting, especially when I relate it to the last 10 years of my life.

If I list down the things which I deliberately wanted to do 10 years back v/s the list of things that happened unplanned, it's like a see-saw titled to 1 side. No prizes for guessing which list would run into more pages! Here I would be talking about those events which have really had a huge impact in my life.

On a professional front these events happened - After H.S.C. I joined B. Sc (I.T.) in K. C. College, which was 1 of the most beneficial decisions. I was always interested in computers, very fascinated about them. B. Sc (I.T.) made me aware about I.T.and computers, was a cheaper alternative to Engg, plus I could enjoy my college life by being a part of a lot of activities like Dramatics, College Fests, etc. Pursuing M.B.A. from M.E.T. was again more of a last minute decision. To be honest, I was completely unaware about the specializations, also the job profiles after doing M.B.A. Joining Logicserve was a chance I took, as I had no choice. It may sound silly, but it was only after spending over 2 months that I realized that I am actually working in the field of Digital Marketing (please note, I have 'specialized' in Operations). All this doesn't really make up a good mix, isn't it? Well, here again, things are unexpectedly perfect. Digital Marketing is a good mix of technical and conceptual ideas and my qualifications only do justice to it. Add to that the huge potential this industry has, in India and abroad, I do have a good career to deal with.

On a personal front, I have seen a lot of friends come and go. A few of them have had a huge influence on me, and even fewer shall always be with me. I've been a part of a wonderful relationship and a disheartening break-up, and perhaps a good recovery from it. Fun-wise, I've played with some great gizmos like digi cam, laptop, ipod and high-end mobile phones.

So, all of these have been unexpected, yet am glad they happenned. Talking about future, I do have some things in mind but, guess what, I am going to allow these unexpected things to occur. These have been very good so far, and I hope, I really hope, that they continue in a much better manner!

Love you gizmos

Last week had been busy, busy in exploring, yet again. Bought me a new device, Nokia E72! Features booklet, websites for mobile applications, cool stuff from friends, all this going on for about a week just to make sure the device is fully loaded. Suddenly realized similar experience I've had with my Ipod Touch, with my Sony Cybershot, with my Sony Erricson K750i and all my gizmo's. When a new device comes, the earlier ones' loose attention. All these inanimate toys must be so very angry with me for sidelining them for a new gizmo!

When a new device joins my gizmo collection, it is my responsibility to make it feel comfortable, give it some more time, isn't it? Does it mean I don't need the earlier one's anymore? Or I don't enjoy the earlier one's?

Had these been living I am sure I would have had to answer these questions much before. Infact, there might have been protests, maybe a revolt against me! Thank god, these are inanimate. That is why they won't understand me ever. Still, I am expressing this for them just incase they could. After all, we should always try and do things which are under our control. The rest is for fate to look after!

My gizmos, my dear gizmos, I love you all. It may be hard to believe for you, but I do. As a human being, I exist in two worlds. One belongs to my family, friends, colleagues and all those living beings. The other belongs to you. Yes, you complete my materialistic world! I am so glad to possess you. There are many more to come, probably more exciting and cool than you all. Do remember, you all are special ;)

I wish I could say it to you

They say Silence is Golden. Not always, surely! I was silent today, as I have been a few times before, and it was devastating!

I am not feeling good today. I wish it would have blossomed to something better. It didn't, may be it was not supposed to. Still, things would have been different, hopefully better, had it been the opposite of what happened.

Someone feels I don't say things face to face, I hide them and say them over the phone or text. Yes, I do. May be I am not able to express myself the way I should when in person.

Something has ended today and somewhere I think it has ended for good. I am not at all feeling good about it. But what troubles me more is the fact that I can't say this to that person! I've hurt and troubled that person very much. Today, was perhaps the last day I did it again! I would be lying if I say that every time I did something bad to that person, I felt bad as well. But this time, it's different. I am not liking it. I wish I can call up and say this but I shall not. Don't wanna hurt no more. Don't wanna raise any more hopes.

I am sorry. It's not your fault. I really, really wish you to be happy, always.

love...

My Wishlist of Gadgets

I would say that I realized my interest for gizmos pretty late in life. The realization came when I was looking for a new cellphone packed with all features. This was back in 2006 and I had bought Sony Ericsson K750i at that time after going through a lot of reviews on gsmarena.com, phonearena.com, cnet.com, etc. That was the time since when I have always had keen interest in knowing about gizmos, and also possessing them.

As of now, I have these and I would really like to extend this list further:

1) Lenovo R61 Thinkpad Laptop - Thanks to MET ;)

2) Sony Cybershot Digicam - Diwali shopping 2008

3) Apple Ipod Touch 8gb - Birthday gift 2009
4) Nokia E72 - Birthday gift 2010

Following is a non exhaustive list of gizmos I am looking to buy for myself, hopefully in near future:

1) DSLR camera - Good photography needs good equipment and I think I should have a DSLR as I enjoy photography. Infact, with a DSLR to play with, I might even join Photography courses! Nikon and Canon are supposed to be the best for DSLR. Can anyone let me know a good entry level DSLR model?

2) Camcorder - Still images do not always capture all emotions, but moving pictures do. Camcorder is surely something I would want to have. Sony is supposed to be the best for Camcorders. Let me know which entry level model to go for?

3) Apple Macbook - I am an Apple fan and really want to possess a Macbook. The look, the feel, the apparatus of Macbook is simply awesome. It's stylish, its unique. Not everyone has it, not even me, yet!

4) Apple Ipad - Another great product from Apple, the Ipad is sleek, stylish and a fun gadget. However, Samsung has also come up with a similar product called Galaxy Tab. It costs half as much has Ipad, has a 3.0 mega pixel camera with LED flash(absent in Ipad) and sd card slot to expand memory(again, absent in Ipad). Seems to be a good alternative, yet, Ipad is Ipad!

5) Bose music system and headphones - Perhaps the best in business, the music system of Bose is truly amazing. The headphones are absolutely classy. However, Sennheiser is also a good alternative to Bose when it comes to headphones. I have tried one of my friends Sennheiser and loved it, would like to try my one of my own now!

6) QWERTY device - I am a fan of candy bar style cellphones and I really want to have a QWERTY device soon. My options are Blackberry and Nokia E series. My expectations from the device is to have the ability of providing fun and work both. The device should have a good camera, good music output with universal 3.5 mm jack along with all essential things needed in a business oriented device. I am more prone to get myself a Nokia QWERTY device soon.

7) Sony PSP - A fun gaming device is cool to have with you, isn't it? Best part about PSP is that you can use it on the go while when at home can also attach it to your TV and use the device as a joystick and play games on the big screen, provided your TV has HDMI ports available. Still, its a fun device, great gaming tool, also good to carry your music, videos and other stuff.

8) Timex Digital Watch - I have always been a fan of digital watches because of their sport look. I had a Timex digital watch but I lost it sometime back. Really want to have one for me soon. I am not very aware about any other brands, apart from Timex, who are known for digital watches, so guys, please help!

9) Portable USB harddisk - My portable usb drive crashed some time back and am really worried about maintaining my movies, photos, music, documents in my laptop due to shortage of memory space. This time, I'll go for a 500 gb, mostly by Seagate/Free Agent or Western Digital. It's again a useful device at your hands.

10) Android based device - Android, according to me, is the next big thing in mobile devices. The vast list of amazing applications supporting Android is enticing enough for me to have a cellphone with Android OS. As of now, Sony Ericson Xperia series and Samsung Galaxy are very good Android devices.

11) Apple Ipod Classic - I know I already have a fun Ipod, and I also plan to buy a portable usb device soon. Still, I think, Ipod classic is a great device to have with you. Huge memory available to carry music, videos, other data. Plus, you can listen to music and watch videos whenever you feel like, not something you can do with portable usb drives!

I think I'll visit this post every 6 months and update the wishlist and also the list of gadgets I already have. For me, these gadgets are nothing but toys for elder boys!

Independent India - a Glorious Misinterpretation

In the last 25 years of my life, I have seen so many changes in the way Independence Day is 'celebrated', or should I say 'treated' in India. Flag hoisting, PM's speech, loudspeakers playing patriotic songs - all these things have been the same. What has changed though, is the way we conceive our independence.

For many people, this day is just another paid holiday, the one which gives a good oppurtunity to go for a picnic, a good chance to lay down and relax the whole day. I doubt if people in our country are even considering this to be an important day. It seems that we have taken our Independence for granted!

I was just thinking about this situation and I feel it's high time we do something about it. I don't expect us to indulge in our past, remember our national heroes and pay gratitude to them - which ideally we should do as well. But, even if we show our concern about future and do something in the present for it, it would be good enough for our nation to remain undivided and independent.

Most of the successful nations in the world today are those where primarily two to three language speaking people reside. From a nations point of view this becomes very useful to address the entire population on a whole and thus have a unison among fellow citizens, which eventually leads to progress. India, on the contrary, has 31 states and some union territories as well. The number of major languages spoken across the country is over 29. This language barrier has lead to so much divide post independence. States often do not cooperate with each other because they don't feel a part of the same country. Inter-religion marriages are still not accepted happily, some of these have also led to 'honour killings' in recent times. A native from an 'x' state is not allowed to work and earn money in a 'y' state, and often beaten badly by the local political hooligans. Brain drain is still apparent here, as most of us plan to settle down abroad for the sake of a better life. Internal differences are already affecting our nation. Naxalism has become a serious threat to our people. Terrorism is rising and making our national security an issue. Poverty still lies here as people starve to death, farmers commit suicides.

Just think about our freedom fighters, their passion has led us to the India we live in today. Beyond their passion, shouldn't we also appreciate the way they brought all the people of our country together to fight the britishers? Even now, the entire nation comes together when something catastrophic happens. The point is, why do we wait for such big things to make us come together? Why do we always be reactive?

After 63 years of independence, we still are one nation. But this should not be taken for granted. We know the problems we are already facing - Poverty, Caste differences, Naxalism, Terrorism, Corruption; anyone of these can truly lead to a disrupted India. We have to make India independent again, independent from these issues. We are still a developing nation, and we would always be considered one if we do not do something about it.

I don't know what should we do. My point here is to just make you aware that we ought to do something, for sure! The sooner, the better...

For all my Guru's

Today being the auspicious day of Guru Pournima, I take this opportunity to spare sometime of my life remembering all those who have been Guru to me, all those who have imparted knowledge in me which has been the base of my life..

Bharti Teacher - She was my primary school teacher. She was the one responsible for making me good at Mathematics. I've had a lot of pasting from her but I think she has always been very concerned about my studies.

Zeverina Teacher - My secondary school teacher. One thing to learn from her is her patience and perseverance. I apologize her for all the trouble which I've given her. Inspite of that, she never gave up her concerns about me doing well in my studies.

Rakhi Tai - My elder cousin who really gave me the worst time while studying, the one who really had to curb her natural impatience just to let me understand things at my own pace, the one who took complains about me and made sure I did not repeat those. She had been there with me in my early years and a lot of what I know is because of her.

Sawant Sir/Rane Sir/Nikam Sir - I owe my success of S.S.C to these wonderful gentlemen, who were my tuition teachers. I don't think I would have done as good as I did in S.S.C if it had not been for the constant guidance by these men.

Bhandarkar Sir - I did below average at my H.S.C. if I compare my overall academic performance. However, it was this man who made Chemistry so very easy for me to grasp. I don't remember memorizing anything in Chemistry as the lectures conducted by this man were simply awesome. I owe my best score at H.S.C (92/100 in Chemistry) to him.

Patwardhan Sir - From being an average student in first year to being the topper in college in the final year of BSc IT is an achievement I shall always be very proud of. I could not have done it if it had not been for this man, the one who taught me most of the IT knowledge I know.

Zafar Khan - I won't say much about this man because I cannot verbalize what I have learnt from him; whatever it is, it is worth remembering for ages.

Hemant (Baba) - I have always been fond of dramatics and used to consider myself someone great in it until I met this man. I don't think anyone else would have abused me as much as this man. He made me learn humility, apart from whatever I have learnt of acting and dramatics from him.

Bhavesh Sir - I owe my knowledge of graphics & web designing to this man. He is a friend as well.

My Parents - My 24/7 guru's, need not say anything about their contribution.

My Friends - I have learnt a lot of things from you guys. Love you all.

I truly respect these people, and this is just a small gesture of gratitude to my Guru's. Lot more to live, lot more to learn, lot more to achieve in life. I am sure I shall be having many more Guru's as I travel the journey of life. So far so good :)