Innocent even at 65

Innocence is a quality we would mostly associate with kids. Kids are ignorant enough to ask us silly questions and be innocent. As they grow innocence fades, for never to return back. It was in my recent trip to Kankavli that I realized that elderly people can be equally innocent. Just like Dalvi aaji (granny).

Laxman Dalvi, aajoba (grandpa), now a retired police employee has been a senior colleague to my father. Over time, they became good friends. Families got involved by means of monsoon trips and family functions and thus the relationship flourished further. Post retirement, aajoba and aaji went back to their native place, in Humbrat near Kankavli, to stay and started maintaining their farm and garden. Every year, atleast twice or thrice do my parents visit them at their native place. The last time I had visited them there was back in 1999. So, this time when my parents asked if I would want to join them I could not refuse. Somewhere even I wanted to visit them, and also enjoy a quick monsoon trip to the wonderful konkan region.

I was always aware about one facet of aaji, her loving and caring nature. She made sure we could relax after a long journey, have good food and self grown fruits as well. Mom helped her with household chores but aaji was always after providing us all the comforts. Very recently, they have repaired their old house into a new one storeyed mansion. The new house really looks very nice. Kitchen has a small window to peek in the living room. Window has a reflective glass, the kind of glass which we can see through only from one side and not from other. The problem with such glass is that it behaves totally opposite during the day and night. In the day, you cant see through from one side, on the night you cant see through from the other way round. So, we were all relaxing after evening snacks and tea discussing about the window and the glass. Aaji starts with enthusiasm saying, "You know, this glass is special. You can see through it from inside the kitchen but cannot peek from the living room into the kitchen.". Looking at the glass and realizing that we can, infact, peek into the kitchen from living room she says, "I guess, there's something wrong about it. The glass fitter must have goofed up!" We all just could not stop laughing about this and then explained her what was the reason behind it.

While having dinner that night conversation about health issues was taking shape. My mom appears to have a swelling on her right hand and she was talking about it. Aaji is quick to comment, "You know what, even I had a swelling and I made sure I did tests and checkups to weed out any posibilities of critical illnesses like cancer or others." Aajoba had a strange reaction creeping up on his face, we all saw that. My mom asked when did she do these tests and checkups to which aaji replies, "30 years back." Aajoba's reaction crystallized into something like, "Are you nuts!" We all burst out laughing about this and soon aaji joined us as well, realizing how humorous it turned out to be. Then, the next night we were getting ready to sleep. I asked for a blanket. Aaji came, looked here and there, took away the blanket which aajoba was sleeping with and gave it to me. Aajoba looked puzzled, like my dad and me. Aaji says to aajoba, "Dont you realize this is Rohan's blanket? He had taken it yesterday. Why cant you take your blanket? If you dont find it tell me, I'll find it for you!"

Aaji is a hard working lady. She has taken a lot of efforts to bring up 3 kids so wonderfully, that all of them are doing really well today. She has always been supportive, and has complimented aajoba very well. These years have taken a toll on her physical capabilities. However, a few things are still undeterred in her - her warm, loving and caring nature and her infectious innocence.

Monsoon - drizzle of fond memories

It’s time to get bored at work. It’s time to think of munching bhajia and cutting chai. It’s time to feel cozy. It’s time to go out with friends and family on a nature trail. Yes, monsoon has arrived for the year and as always, has brought a lot of exciting plans and fond memories. Telephonic discussions are in full swing to decide which place to trek, which waterfall to visit, which resort to plan for and how long should the trip last. All this just to let the mesmerizing rains kiss you all day long!

Unlike summer or winter, monsoon makes every place feel wonderful. Be it a hill station, a waterfall, a restaurant or even your office. When you are out there getting drenched in rain, it is total fun. When you are indoors, merely watching the rain drops with light music in background and hot cup of tea to sip on is equally enjoyable.

Talking about memories, I have always loved spending time at Marine drive in monsoon; how can you miss the waves splashing on the rocks and spilling up on you! The pleasant smell of soil in first rain is always soothing, so wonderfully etched in my memory. Trips to waterfalls at Palasdari dam, Amboli ghat, Bushi dam and a few others have been exhilarating. Treks to Singhagad, Raigad, Rajmachi and Lohagad have all been great physical activity. Then there have been beaches visited in rain. And, how can I you forget all the wonderful time I have spent indoors while it was raining.

I like to walk in rain, although not during the time when I am working at office. You have a lot of things to worry about, like your bag, smartphone, any paper docs you have, your clothes and your shoes; it's not a comfortable feeling to get wet and be working at office. The good old days are gone, when I was just a student and could be a bit careless about letting my books, my wallet and other things getting wet. Going for a bike ride when it’s raining is what I always look upto every year, as I did today. Rain drops pricking your face, eyes almost shut and wind blowing on your face; it’s a must experience feeling! To enjoy rain while I am at home, I make sure I listen to the album Gaarva by artists Milind Ingle and Saumitra while having a nice ginger tea.

Monsoon comes with a lot of emotions. You just can’t ignore the many memories nagging you when it’s raining. Your memories keep raining within you and remind of all the wonderful time you have spent with some really special people. Probably, there is a reason for this. Atleast once a year you ought to remember this wonderful time, as it has been very special. And what better time for this than monsoons! Enjoy the rains.

Living expands from 180 sq. ft to 840 sq. ft

After spending as long as 20 years in a small 1 room house in South Mumbai we have now moved into our big 2 bhk self owned residential flat in Navi Mumbai. I would call it a flat as I still cannot forget my home back in town. It's never easy to let go a place where you grow up, have so many memories attached. It will take me some time to call this new flat 'home'. It aint bad, just that I have not yet accepted it.

So, now we have a big place to stay which is fully furnished. We have decorated this place nicely, bought in new furniture, bean bag, swing chair, big screen led tv and many such things. Some of these are my recommendations, stuff which I always fancied. Its spacious and nice. This building is away from the main road so we have a quiet surrounding. We have just about 12 flats in my building, often with closed doors. So, do not really have good neighbours. Friends, acquaintances and relatives are not close by so we are here all by ourselves - mom, dad, sis and me. My current office is near so I leave without any hurry and reach back home quicker than before. This leaves a lot of time with me, so have to spend time watching tv or reading books or passing time on laptop; internet connection is pending still so it makes passing time a bit difficult. Still not aware about good hang out places nearby.

Back then, life was very different. We all lived in a single room in a chawl. Being a chawl, most of the times our door was open. Noise was very common and I was used to it. A friend gives me a call and asks to join him and I could rush for it without even thinking about it. Many great hang out and eat out places back there taking away all your time. Oh good lord, I miss all of this!

I aint complaining here, this new big flat is something I would have wanted in a couple of years when I needed to settle down in life. My parents have put in their best effort to buy this place, had they been wealtheir this flat would have been somewhere in town. This achievement of theirs is no small in any way; my grandpa has seen prosperous days in his life but he never thought of buying a house in town for his family. My parents had no choice but to stay in the house provided by their employer, where we spent 20 years. My parents have managed to buy a property on their own which is so close to Mumbai. It's upto me now to go a step further and buy a property in mumbai in time to come, something which is definitely not easy but really worth trying!

It will take me time to get accustomed to this place, make new friends and improve social life here. Life shall keep changing, as it always does. The sooner we accept this, the easier it becomes. But, my love for my older home shall remain unparallel to anything on this earth. Living has certainly expanded, house is yet to become home!

Courtroom experience

My father, being an employee of Mumbai Police department always keeps saying, "A wise man should never climb steps of a court!". Let me not disclose the reason, but I had been to a court today. So when I entered my father's word crossed my mind again. But, I took the elevator to the floor on which I was supposed to go - yes, this court has an elevator!

Jokes apart, my experience in the court today makes me agree with my dad completely on this point. The working is somewhat like this - Court opens up at 11 am. From 11 am to 2 pm only paper work has to be done with. So, if you have a hearing you have to make sure all your paperwork is done properly. You cannot even do all paperwork on the same floor, why should they make your life simple? You already are in trouble by getting involved in a court case, might as well some more jitters. So, your paperwork is done on atleast 2 floors. From 2 pm to 3 pm, they enjoy their lunch break. 3 pm to 5 pm is the time when you are supposed to be in the actual court for your hearing. Today, there must have been atleast 60 cases which were heard by our Majesty, the honourable Judge.

Imagine, 60 cases in 2 hours with going through all paperwork as well! Impossible it may seem but not for our efficient Judges. In roughly 2 minutes, this lady Judge today heard, read and gave away her decision for the moment and also the next date of hearing. It reminded me of the famous monologue in the film Damini by actor Sunny Deol which goes, "Taarikh pe Taarikh, Taarikh pe Taarikh..". Why cant a case, atleast straight forward ones like the one I was involved with today, be solved in as less time as possible? Instead of giving 2 minutes to every case and going just an inch ahead, give 60 minutes and get done with a particular case completely. I could clearly see that the lady Judge was doing her work just for the sake of it. No big deal if you spot zero motivation and cent percent boredom.

If you miss corruption or it's been a long time you have seen one please do visit the court, its a wonderful place for it. You have to shell out your hard earned bucks for the chief person who arranges for your paperwork, the peon who takes your papers safely and quickly from 1 floor to the other and also tries to keep it them at the top of the stack during hearing so that it is picked up and addressed soon, the clerks who just fill just about 1 to 2 pages of your particulars and verify your documents. Rs. 100/- is minimum and it increases in multiples of 50. By the way, this rate is for police employees, or government employees and not for regular people. Why the f*%$ do these crooks expect money for doing their own work? They are definitely not giving us any secret code in return. I do agree that its important to make these officials happy with some monetary gifts but shouldn't it be something which they pulled off for you beyond their actual job profile?

I was in the courtroom waiting for our turn and was observing the whole thing. Court staff was unmotivated and disinterested to the core. Police guards were sleepy. Convicts were indifferent. How the f*%$ can one expect an outcome out of this? Indian Judiciary system is slow as a snail and it is in firm grip of corruption. These are the only macro factors I could point out. Just consider Ajmal Kasab's case which has been going on for close to 2 and a half years now with no firm conclusion. If such a prime level convict's case goes for such a long time you can comfortably assume eternity to be the time frame for a common man's case. For me, its utter shame and disgrace for my country which otherwise has many highlights I am certainly proud of. It is high time today's young generation of lawyers understand this concern and do something about it. Hope keeps us going in life and that is what I shall hold on to see some positive improvements on this front, possibly in near future. Yet, my suggestion - Avoid involvement in court cases; as the cliche goes "Prevention is better than cure!"

New look at Amar Akbar Anthony

One of my all time favorite movies has been Amar Akbar Anthony. I must have watched it for like a 100 times and whenever it is on air and I happen to bump into it, I make sure I watch it for as long as I can. Today, I could watch it from start to end. While watching it, very many thoughts have crossed my mind.

This is a very ideal film! Yes, it is as we see in so many of the scenes. Like, when Kishan Lal (Pran) returns home after serving a tenure in jail he realizes that his family has not been taken care of as promised by his boss Robert (Jeevan). He asks his wife played by Nirupa Roy, if she received any money to which she replies that even if she had she would not have accepted it as it would be unethical! Like, when a person offering prayers in a garden realizes a small child has been abandoned and he takes the child (Akbar - Rishi Kapoor) home and decides to take care of it as well. Like, when Anthony (Amitabh Bachchan) returns home after having a fight with Zibisko and talks to himself in the mirror saying, "I have always told you to avoid liquor because it's bad, but you never listen. If you had not been drunk today, you would have beaten the crap out of him!" Like, Anthony saying that he will never fight back with a Police officer out of respect. Like, Anthony asking Robert if he has not harmed any police officer as in that case he would have made sure Robert is caught by the Police. Like, the fact that Kishan Lal kidnaps Robert's daughter but takes care of her as his own child. Like, Akbar gets a candid snap of his would be father in law Tayyab Ali with his girlfriend out of fun but does not misuse it. Like, Akbar wants to make sure that his girlfriends' father approves of their marriage otherwise he would not marry her. As mentioned earlier, there are many such ideal scenes.

Apart from this aspect, there are a few details which have been caught in the film which truly suggests the work of a genius. Like, in the opening scenes when Kishan Lal approaches Robert to ask for money and Robert makes him polish his shoes and gives away just 1 dime. In anguish Kishan Lal gets hold of a revolver and shoots at Robert in the chest. He is saved by the bullet proof vest, however. Later, a similar situation arises when Robert is at the receiving end. The same scene takes place again only this time Robert shoots Kishan Lal in the back. He is saved by a similar bullet proof vest. Kishan Lal mocks at Robert saying he knew that Robert was a back stabber and would always attack from behind and was so prepared. Like, in one of the scenes when we see kids running behind cars. Do we see the same thing today? Back then, there were few cars and people were in awe of cars, more so the children and always loved following cars and jumping on them, something which has been captured smartly.

Let's talk about the exceptional music of the film composed by the great Laxmikant-Pyarelal. Those were the days when composing was much tougher. All the artists rehearsed and recorded together. Technology had not evolved back then, so a lot depended on human effort. Where you have human effort you have chances of human error. As my friend Pushkar always keeps saying, that it is because of this human error that the music was never perfect but that exactly made it melodious. Perhaps, that is the reason why many of our old songs still seem wonderful to hear. Today, with technology most of the music directors have been able to achieve perfection but the melody is surely missing more often than not.

I also feel that the underlying feature of this film is secularism and harmony. The title itself highlights this. The famous song Shirdi wale Sai Baba sung by the great Rafi sahab, which we hear in local trains of Mumbai has been a part of this film. It has been shot showing a muslim community offering a prayer in the form of Qawwali for a diety which has a majority of hindu devotees. The title song of this movie says goes like Anhoni ko honi kar de, honi ko anhoni. Ek jagah jab jama ho teeno, Amar..Akbar..Anthony which throws up a high level of thought that if all religions come together there could be nothing impossible to achieve. Just think over it!

Back then, we were not as corrupt as we are today. Back then, we had much more ideals and values than we have today. Back then, we were much better than we are today. Things had started changing back then and we have reached upto this point. Probably, Manmohan Desai made this movie the way it is to make sure he instills good values in people something which might have never crossed anyone's mind. A movie, for all of us, is pure entertainment. This movie is not at all short of entertainment but do try and relate my views the next time you watch this film. Final words - great work by a superb star cast, hat's off Salim-Javed for a great story and dialogues, grand salute Laxmikant-Pyarelal and take a bow Manmohan Desai!

PS: It's OK if you just don't think about my views on this film. Enjoy the film :)

A nice gesture

Two days ago my friend Ameya gives me a call, after a long time. He tells me that his father would be turning 60 this year on 26th March and he has arranged a surprise party, and invited me for it. Fortunately, I did not have any prior commitments on that day so I agreed to visit. His entire family knows me, and it had been a long time I had met them. He needed some help with the preparations and asked me if I could come a bit early for the same. I agreed.

Today, I reached at the venue and Ameya was there busy with preparations along with a few more common friends. Not wasting any time, I joined Mangesh in inflating balloons. I think we had close to a 100 balloons. I could actually feel the unpleasant, greasy taste of those balloons on my tongue. I joined in with other decorations, setting up the desk and getting certain things which had been completely forgotten and were needed urgently.

We were all set with out preparations by 6 pm and the venue looked extremely cheerful. Ameya's father reached the venue by 6:30 pm. It was a pleasant surprise for him, was a bit overwhelmed by the occasion. The flow of events was something I was aware about but had never seen personally. Ameya and his siblings washed his father's feet with milk and water, which is known as abhishek. Mud diya's , 60 in number, were decorated in a thali which was used to bless uncle. Ameya's family is a big one, it's a joint family. Elderly people who were there blessed uncle, which was followed by the younger generation coming over the wish him. Cake cutting ceremony followed in some time and we all were singing "Happy Birthday to you.." not at all in sync. This was followed by a few games which we all played and enjoyed, and then uncle received gifts from all the guests. Dinner was served by 9 pm and we wrapped up everything by 10:30 pm.

Since the time I heard about this event, I had been thinking a lot. I can imagine how things would have been for my dad when he was doing what I did today, preparing for a birthday party. I am very happy for uncle because of the fact that he has such a wonderful and loving family. Making him feel special on his birthday just highlights the fact that Ameya and his family love him very much. In fact, the entire family loves each other. This is something which is rarely seen these days and I hope and pray that this love persists in Ameya's family as long as the stars shine.

On a general note, it is high time to realize that our parents have done such a thing for atleast 10 - 12 years just to make us feel special. Shouldn't we do the same in their old days atleast? Ameya did plan and execute this event for his personal satisfaction but it has helped to ring some bells in some minds. Jayesh, my friend who lost his father 2 years back, would have been wondering if he had done such a thing when his dad was alive. Prachi, Priti and Ashwini, whose dad's had also visited the event must be thinking that now even we would need to do such a thing for our mom's and dad's as they may make comparisons which would be difficult to handle. Mangesh and me are wondering if we can do a similar thing for our respective dad's as my dad would turn 50 this year and his dad would reach 75 next year. More than meeting my friends after a long time, more than spending a good time with Ameya's family, more than enjoying the party and more than savoring the delicious food, I have realized that this was a nice gesture which should be done with your parents and loved one's atleast sometimes. It should feel nice, you can imagine how peaceful would it be.

Relax and Start Fresh!

I just couldn't relax on Sunday. So many thoughts had been running across my mind the whole week. Weekdays were still better, as I had work to focus on and was too tired while coming back that this somehow did not bother much. Saturday was better again, thanks to the world cup match between India & South Africa. It finally boiled down to Sunday, as I was at home and had nothing much to do.

There are times when your past, present and future make sure they haunt you at the same time. The worst part, is that you cant think what to do about it. That's the exact reason why I don't like to do nothing on weekends, a case of empty mind being a devil's workshop emerges. I do not want to divulge any details but things about my career, personal life, financials and such other had been nagging me lately. It became intolerable to such an extent that I was about to do something stupid. Just then a thought flashed by - to work on a presentation.

During my MBA years, I never took keen interest in making presentations. Even so, I had learnt the approach of making presentations. This week I have a session to conduct on Digital Marketing. This particular presentation which I ended up with is what I had in mind for the same. However, this time I avoided to be spontaneous. It took me about an hour or so and it turned out to be good. The better part was the fact that I felt relaxed and nice after exhausting my mind for it.

Just that reminded me of my S.S.C year. One fine day, I was not able to sleep till late night. I had no other thing to do than keep rolling in my bed. I had been doing that for some days then but this time I couldn't. I could see some books kept on my study table. I got up and fetched those. I spent an hour or more studying that night. I felt really nice back then. Sunday's feeling was just the same, sort of a déjà vu in some sense.

Perhaps, I should try to calm down my mind when it is not. One of the best ways is reading. It has worked on many occasions. Others like listening music and watching movies also prove good. Some uncommon ways are like what I did on Sunday. I can surely try to be more conscious about these. These haven't solved my problems or addressed any concerns, how can they? These are like pit stops in F1 racing events. They help me relax and start fresh!