Should I envy a dog's life?

I wake up at 8 am and get ready to leave for office. Yesterday I had taken a leave so work has piled up. I have to reach earlier, cant catch my usual 10:20 am Thane local. I must catch 10:00 am Thane local anyhow, which needs me to leave home before 9:45 am. I hope I get a good parking spot for my bike soon, coz it may take longer at times to seek one. Fortunately I do, and now I rush for the station. Reached the platform at sharp 9:58 am, only to see that trains are running a bit late. Yes, 9:44 am CST local is due to arrive shortly so I can do nothing more than wait helplessly. Crowd is growing bigger by the minute, making sure that getting a seat in the coach is going to be an effort. So let me atleast accomodate myself on a bench and take some time to arrange my work for the day - what's pending, what can come today, which reports are to be sent, what can be kept pending. Seems like I would have to spend atleast an hour more over my regular working hours today. Now I am disgusted about trains running late, especially when I have so much work to do. There must be atleast 100 others on their way to their respective offices at the platform now. I can hardly imagine what must be going on in their minds. Frantic chaos, mental offcourse, on all sides. Amidst all this is a dog enjoying his nap on the platform.

Yes, such a peaceful nap for this stray dog makes me wonder about his daily activities. I mean what I can imagine is this canine would sleep when he wants, eat when he wants, bark and run and play and howl when he wants. He need not worry about paycheck, getting home early, report to his boss, pay taxes, give some time to family or make food. He can chase speeding cars, without knowing what to do when he is able to stop one. He can fuck around, at times literally, and is not answerable to anyone. What a wonderful life!

Just then my cellphone's vibrates. It's my boss, who called me to inform what work he got done yesterday and what is left for me. Local arrives 10 minutes late but I get a good seat. Cellphone blinks and I smile to see a few texts from friends. Reached office some time later and caught up with colleagues, some gossips, some important news and some fun. Work begins and as it unfolds I enjoy it. Let's take a lunch break now! Mom made omlette today, very tasty! Time for a small stroll after lunch. Work resumes, its going great. Mom calls, tells about car loan being approved by the bank and futher procedure. Work resumes again only uptil snacks break, followed by work till 8:15 pm. Leave for home, catch up with a few colleagues on the way. Reach home, have food, watch tv, check mails on laptop and finally go to sleep by 12:30 am.

Grass always looks greener on the other side, as they say!

I wish this is just a Niggle, although it is looking like Chronic Pain

Lot of commotion is going on in my mind these days. It started back in July this year and now a point has come that I am really bogged down. I am dragging myself from all this and I don't know how long I can manage that. I really hope destiny plays its part and help me out of it real soon!

Gone are those wonderful days when I could be worry free. Pocket money of Rs.1000/- used to be more than sufficient to cover all expenses. Visit to fastfood joints, movies, treats, extra talktime; all this could be covered without any real concern. No, I am not worried about inflation, or am I? 

Professionally I am unsure if I am at the right place or not. The career path is pretty clear in my mind, yet I don't know if I should continue at my current company or not. I am definitely earning well below the 'industry standards', but I remember my Boss' wisdom words, "Sometimes to go 4 steps ahead, you have to come 2 steps back!" True that my current profile is one of the best profiles I could get into at this age. Considering that I would be working at the client side in the next 5 years or so, my current profile gives me some advantage. But, should I go back to my roots in SEM and specialize in that? I never wanted that, always wanted a 360 degree online marketing profile and I currently have that. But its creating a lot of financial problems.

Financially if I look at myself I ought to do a lot better. Agreed that recession had hit my entire batch, but now most of my batch mates are earning better than me. Even my one time colleagues have switched over and are earning substantially better than me. I am really not able to save much, as almost all my earnings go in expenses, insurance premium, mutual fund investments and such other. Suddenly something comes up and a significant chunk of savings has to be divested. Sometimes I wonder if investing in a property at this point of time was a good decision or not. Interest emi's take up some part of my earnings, increasing steadily after every 2 - 3 months. Investing in Speak Asia was a bad decision, especially when I had already suffered earlier because of a similar thing. My friend did earn good money off Speak Asia but my timing of indulging into it could not have been more worse! Looking at it, its just a loss of Rs.11000/- but in my current scenario it looks very intimidating. I don't know how far would I need to postpone my car, wedding and other plans. 

Personally also life isn't going any gung-ho. I have my share of concerns, serious ones. It could not have been worse. To cut the long story short, I am in deep shit right now! Considering all these I am really not able to focus in present. I don't feel good these days. I cant turn a blind eye to all this. I have been through worse times earlier but this one is a real pain in the ass! Saala dimaag kharab ho gaya hai! I can only hope I can come out of this, only if destiny feels otherwise!